Let's Get Real

      I keep trying to figure my life out.  Maybe everyone else does much better at this, but I analyze the way things are going, I determine to change, write up my plan and accompanying list of goals, mess it all up and then I realize again how imperfect I am!  Because I have a lot to work on, its a struggle every day.
      If in this life we are trying to become perfect like God, we may need some scrubbing up and polishing down to smooth off those imperfections.  Man, do I need a lot of scrubbing and polish!
      I'd never want to put on like I am the perfect mom or the perfect wife, the perfect friend, or the perfect whatever because I don't want to be a let down when you spend a day with me and realize I'm not the perfect person I put on to be.  I'm not.  I need a lot of polish!
      I feel a little guilty sometimes, when I can blog all the good things and leave out all the bad.  I have a small facade going, and then I get friends telling me what a great mom I am.  I do have friends that I think are pretty close to perfect, but that's not me!  I love my kids immensely, but there are times I become exasperated or lose my patience that I later regret.  I have times that I don't feel my best and so I don't put my best on, but later regret that I wasn't better to my husband who still puts up with me and is so good to me anyway.  Still... don't go so far as to believe we aren't happy.  Life is SO GOOD!  I am blessed beyond what I deserve and we are a happy family!
      I had a couple AHA moments lately.  Sometimes I have a tendency to forget how very blessed I am.  Aha #1- Just because I feel a certain way in the negative (which usually stems from being tired, or hungry), does NOT mean I have to act in accordance.  I think that is an amazing idea, taught by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Each month we have the opportunity to fast, go without food or water, and I think one purpose behind it is to train our body and our wills, that we don't have to give in.  It may be hard and it may be uncomfortable, but it is possible to change one's nature by not acting on the impulses of the natural man, and forcing oneself to be better... to be happy when I don't feel like being happy.  I can be better than what I feel.  I am just at the beginning, I often still give in, but its not a complete failure because I am still trying.  So, for maybe the first time, I am looking forward to fasting next month.
      My second Aha has to do with being Bridger's mom.  Being a mom has many challenges that I don't always know the right way to deal, except with trial and error.  Bridger is starting to become contrary, he doesn't like being told what to do (I guess no one does). He can turn on a dime from being super happy and nice, one sentence from me and he's an angry spit fire.  AHA moment #2- If I talk to Bridger in very happy and excited tones, he is more apt to be happy and excited about whatever I am asking him to do, opposed to if I say it in the normal drone.  It's amazing how this works.  It may be an obvious thing to everyone else, but it was an AHA moment to me.
     So for my next post, let's get real, and I'll give you a day in my life.  Stay posted... :-)