"Did we do the right thing having kids?" We sometimes muse after an over eventful, and exhausting day. Large displays of displeasure erupting from our terrible children make us wish for a more peaceful atmosphere. It's a good thing they're cute, because sometimes that's all that saves them. Don't they know they should just be grateful? Don't they know that we don't owe them everything they want? Don't I remember these same speeches from when I was little... Yes, yes I do. I'm just on the other side of it now with different opinions.
From the moping, the whining, the tantrums... Screaming "I want it! I want it!..." or pouting "No! I Don't. Want. Anything!" I thought it was hard when they were babies, but that kind of crying I can handle. However, add lack of sleep from baby to big kid tantrums and I want to call it a day at 10AM! Sometimes I feel like I am living at my wits end, I've lost my sense of humor, and just as quick as a melting child, can my emotions flip, first angry and then feel like crying, when only moments ago I thought I was doing okay.
Is this my new normal? How long will the whining and the tantrums last?
I know it is a good thing Sawyer slept 10 hours last night, because I needed my energy today. I hope he keeps it up! I hope I can keep it up.
If you are thinking of having kids ... Don't do it! Okay, I take most of that back. Kids are great. They are really great at putting on display my faults and what I need to work most on. It's two fold... Since they have my genes, some of their bad traits they inherited, which I can claim that yes, they got that from me. And I find my faults come out of me when I don't handle situations properly. It's a learning experience. It's also why I don't spank, I know I'd regret it later.
They are great for keeping me humble and giving me a need for spiritual direction. Life goes along pretty well, but sometimes I really don't know the best way to handle my kids and I really do want to spank them and lock them in their rooms for the day. Instead I lock myself in my room and pray that the Lord will bless me to handle this. Pray for patience. Pray for wisdom in parenting skills.
Kids are great. They are full of love, and forgiveness; compassion and goodness. They make me think about who I want to be and they teach me what I need to be. And I thought I was supposed to be teaching them.
Maybe a bit too honest. Let me end by saying I love my kids. Thank goodness for after bedtime, when it is my time to regroup, rethink, breathe, and get ready to try again tomorrow.
1 comment:
Amen Sister! I'm glad I'm not the only one. Motherhood is hard. HARD. I wish someone would have sat me down before we had kids and told me that. Although, I don't think its possible to comprehend until you are in the middle of it. Add the fluctuating hormones, the exhaustion, etc. and most days I am simply one big mess. But its worth it. Most of the time. ;) You are doing amazing things. And you are doing so much better than you think you are. Keep on keeping on! This time goes fast (Sadly, and thankfully). And I'm sending good happy, healthy vibes and lots of prayers!
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